Feminist Monday, May 21

I'm going to expand on a FB post today.

Remember when you were a teenager? Remember when your every emotion was one raw nerve, running from your heart and through your entire body like a searing hot wire? Remember when every social slight, every downturn seemed like The End? Remember not knowing how to cope? Remember when adults told you you were being melodramatic? Remember when hormones were blamed for behavior that pissed off your parents? Better yet, remember when your car insurance rates were through the roof because statistics indicated high accident rates and that if you were male those rates were even higher? Remember the trauma of your teen years. It wasn't an exaggeration. Being an adolescent isn't easy. Maybe it was easy for you. Regardless, we've  proof that adolescence is a big stage in brain development.[1] From the study: "In the midst of all the apparent tumult, intense emotion, and occasional reckless behavior characterizing the teenage years, the brain is, in fact, evolving and developing the neural circuits needed to keep emotions in check."

Now, add in gender specific cultural influences. Notice how males are constantly being told they are the exception to the rule, to pretty much all rules.[2]

I firmly believe this is why young white males have more accidents in general. Consequences aren't  ​emphasized to them 24/7 like the rest of us. In fact, quite the opposite. Boys are told they must be brave, take risks, and don't be cowards. Let's go back to that '80s movie, shall we? The summary reads: "A talented young man can't get an executive position without rising through the ranks, so he comes up with a shortcut, which also benefits his love life." Do you know what that shortcut is? It's criminal fraud, nepotism, and incest. He lies his ass off and creates a fake personae. This should be called a crime, a grift, but because it's charming, well-meaning Micheal J. Fox, well...we all know he's a good guy. Right? So, it's a 'shortcut.' It's as if he's only screamed "Look! Elvis!" and moved some pieces around the game board while no one is looking. All sins are forgiven. He's not hauled off to jail. Hell, he isn't even left without prospects. In fact, he's well on his way to being an exec somewhere--also, he gets the girl. You know, the girl he stalks through the whole film--the one who had an active relationship when he met her.

Speaking of stalking, let's talk briefly about Romantic Comedies. Yeah, yeah. I like them, I admit. But they are hugely problematic. Story after story is all about how stalking pays off. The male lead wears down the female lead with his persistence more times than I care to count. It happens a lot in Romance too. We're inundated with the concept that this is how love works. That the male decides when it's true love. (In that particular case, only males decide EVERYTHING.) The target for that love, the woman, doesn't have a say. Her reluctance, her current relationship, her career, even her view of reality, are only another set of obstacles to overcome. She must let go and see everything as he does in order to have the happily ever after.

The constant message to men via media? That cute girl/woman owes you a date by the mere fact that you exist. You decide when it's over--regardless of how much energy you've put into the pursuit of her affections. When you decide it's no longer true love, it's off.[3] She never gets a say. She's just supposed to vanish, and when she doesn't she becomes the villain or the 'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.' Women's bodies are commodities to be won. (See the chatter about Sexual Market Value.) Women aren't people. They're objects for sticking your dick in. Women aren't people with rights. They're there to be beaten, coerced, forced--even killed--particularly if they're not: white, perceived to be 'pure', dependent, or even simply polite.[4]

Imagine you're a young man being steeped in all this. Now add guns to the equation. Now read this article. And this. And this. And this. There's a pattern. None of this shit--these armed attacks by white cis males--happens in a vacuum. Is it really shocking that this shit is going on?

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​[1] Hopefully, the study in question included all genders. In which case, the generalized use of 'people' and 'persons' is valid. Otherwise, it's inappropriate use of generalized terms. Other genders are people too, damn it.
[2] Including gravity. Yes, I'm talking about all the movies and tv shows where cis white males are exceptions: super hero stories, comedies where they're God--all wishes are granted, including the girl. It's everywhere in US culture.
[3] See all those sequels after the hero spends the entire first movie pursuing that female lead and then after the "Happily Ever After" he reappears in the next film sans the Love of His Life™. Worse? He's got a new obsession now: the newest hotness. Most of the time there's not even a toss off line to explain the absence of the first woman.
[4] I saw Bone Tomahawk yesterday. I gotta say I do NOT recommend it. In the end, our heroes blithely walk past two women victims who'd been raped, blinded, and dismembered on the assumption that they were 'savages'. Never mind that they'd kidnapped the nice white lady and the only difference between her and them was that these women's skin had been dusted with whatever substance the cannibals used. There was no indication of any past for those victims. Yet, the heroes left them there. With violent cannabals who would either die soon or live on and abuse them. They left the women hugely pregnant and in every way helpless. In the wilderness. With zero medical care. I wanted to throw things at the screen. Fuck that. That is not a fucking dark comedy assholes. Fuck you.